Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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