I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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