Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
