Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
