Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
