When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
