eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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