my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize