Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
