There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
