Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
we should paint friendship bongs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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