ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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