the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
