i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
