Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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