i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize