Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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