I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
