There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
