apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
