I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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