There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
