I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
