if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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