check it out our google latitudes are spooning
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
