Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
