how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
