still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
