some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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