I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
