Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
