i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
