I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
