So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
