Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
