There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
