is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
