I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
