Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
only you would photoshop your dick
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize