I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
