What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
