normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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