ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
