Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
