So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
