wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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