I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
