is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
