I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
