I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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