I must be too annoying 4 u.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
