Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
