quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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