I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
