YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
