But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
