we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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