babies were throwing up all over the place
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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