problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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