Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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