if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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