well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
