is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
