the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
