oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
